 Twitter Crazy: This week's best celebrity tweets Nov 30th 2012, 18:40 Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy. Photo credit: eldh, Flickr “This is sad bad, not fun bad.” — Everyone liveTweeting #lizanddick, to themselves about 10 minutes ago — Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 26, 2012
There is a subtle difference, you know? Surviving the row machine at the gym is exponentially more challenging when next to someone yet to discover deodorant. — Bonnie Bernstein (@BonnieBernstein) November 26, 2012
That’s the “expert level” workout. Lindsay Lohan’s probation will be revoked because she lied to police. The same goes for her SAG card after playing Elizabeth Taylor. — Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) November 26, 2012
Joan Rivers, ladies and gentlemen! Shout out to those on Facebook who copied and pasted a worthless legal disclaimer to protect all that original and valuable stuff you share. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 26, 2012
Yes, well done, all. Boy, babies sure don't like wasabi. — Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) November 26, 2012
Duly noted. At this rate “Two and Half Men” is soon going to be renamed “Man”. — Jesse Tyler Ferguson (@jessetyler) November 26, 2012
I can’t wait til its renamed “Cancelled.” UPS sponsors Notre Dame, but Fighting Irish fans are told on website they will get their BCS tickets via FedEx. — darren rovell (@darrenrovell) November 27, 2012
Oops. Win a tweet from me bit.ly/JWTweet Good luck bitches!! — JWOWW (@JENNIWOWW) November 27, 2012
That’s right. Win a tweet. That certainly puts the “Wow” in JWoww. Nice things come in great packages — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 27, 2012
Wait, what? Did the kid from Two and a Half Men ascend yet? — Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) November 27, 2012
In the eyes of many. Finally trying yoga. Hot yoga — Sarah Shahi (@onlysarahshahi) November 27, 2012
I’ll just let you use your imagination on this one. “Two Men and an Ungrateful Fuck-toad” — Zach Braff (@zachbraff) November 27, 2012
But how do you really feel, Zach? Neiman Marcus always has great Christmas gifts, but this year they’ve outdone themselves with “Gwyneth Paltrow’s turds in a sandwich bag.” — Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 27, 2012
Already on my wish list. A couple has named their baby “hashtag.” What a great name, said his siblings Lycos and Pets.com. — Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) November 28, 2012
Don’t laugh, you know someone out there has done this. Just woke up to tell @carsondaly what a dickhead he is… Back to sleep! — Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) November 28, 2012
Now there’s a positive use of your time. I’m amazed that PETA has never protested “Eye of the Tiger.” — Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) November 28, 2012
Are you sure they haven’t? I don’t trust females who say they hate Beyonce. — Aubrey O’Day (@AubreyODay) November 28, 2012
Nor should you. I just did an in real life double-take at a woman's boobs. I'd forgotten that's a real thing you can really involuntarily do. — rob delaney (@robdelaney) November 28, 2012
He needs to get out more. If I found apple slices in my Happy Meal when I was a kid, I would’ve come un-fucking-glued. — Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 28, 2012
TRUTH. Gabriel Aubry should learn how to fight—he became a punching bag. Always drama with Halle B! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 28, 2012
Thanks for weighing in, Donald. Elizabeth Taylor shit her pants dead if she saw the Lindsay Lohan act like her. Embarassing to a woman %10000 — The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) November 29, 2012
Good to know the Sheik watches Lifetime. Children make wonderful vehicles through which you can passive-aggressively speak to your spouse. — Elizabeth Banks (@ElizabethBanks) November 29, 2012
Solid tip. Love Christmas photos but feel too old to get one with Santa? Stay tuned next week – I may have something for you…. — David Hasselhoff (@DavidHasselhoff) November 30, 2012
I can hardly wait.  |  |
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